Johnny Sisk: John McCain: Dumb and Plumber
<p>In a few days, the pundits will fill the airwaves with countless reasons for why John McCain lost this election. They’ll talk about Obama’s tightly run campaign and his ability to inspire. They’ll talk about McCain’s character attacks and negative campaigning. They’ll talk about debate performances, stump speeches, campaign financing, robocalls, and The Great Depression II.<br /> <br />
But none of those things will have had as much to do with McCain’s defeat as will the all-powerful pop cultural force that has taken our country by storm this past week: Joe the Plumber.<br /> <br />
If you’re looking for what’s gone wrong with John McCain’s bid for the White House, look no further than Joe the Plumber.<br /> <br />
Like his selection of Sarah Palin as his running mate, McCain’s schoolgirl crush on Joe the Plumber has illustrated how badly the Republican candidate has misjudged the American electorate and mismanaged his campaign. In both cases, he enlisted uneducated rubes to campaign for him, hoping that these backwoods bumpkins could connect with and energize his red state supporters where he couldn’t himself. And in both cases, his plan has backfired in horribly entertaining ways.<br /> <br />
By tapping a moose-hunting, God-fearing, pro-life hockey mom as his running mate, McCain (a man who prides himself on his “strategy” expertise) made the biggest strategic mistake of the campaign. He turned an election that had been a referendum on Obama’s lack of leadership experience into a referendum on his own decision-making ability. McCain gambled with his VP pick, doubling down on a woman he thought could carry him to the White House by barking moronic drivel about lipstick on pit bulls. </p> <p>The problem, of course, is that behind Palin’s ignorant, uneducated, off-putting, and often hate-filled sarcasm – putting down community organizers? – was a woman who demonstrated a stunning lack of knowledge on everything from Bush foreign policy and Supreme Court rulings to a basic understanding of the Constitution. She claimed that she was the first line of defense from a Russian attack on Alaska and that the Vice President is in charge of the Senate. In other words, after two months of interviewing for the job, she still didn’t know what the job was.<br /> <br />
But the fact that McCain was willing to place our country in the hands of a woman whom he had met only once isn’t what angers me most. It’s that he put his candidacy ahead of his country. Country first? Hardly. <em>Candidacy</em> first.</p> <p>When McCain didn’t go with his gut and pick his first choice Joe Lieberman as VP, he was exposed, pandering to Middle America, cynically hoping that all it would take to capture the women’s vote would be a VP with lady parts.</p> <p>Unfortunately, McCain has badly underestimated the intelligence of the American voting public. Certainly, in some parts of the country, this strategy has worked. But more often than not, it’s led to the divisive cultural skirmishes that have marred his ineffective campaign. Two weeks ago, this strategy was evident in Palin’s now infamous “real America” remarks. And this week, it’s Joe the Plumber.<br /> <br />
At a rally Thursday morning, McCain asked Joe the Plumber to stand up for the crowd. The only problem was that Joe the Plumber wasn’t there. After roughly ten seconds of awkward silence, McCain urged the entire crowd to stand up, saying, “Well, you’re all Joe the Plumber.” </p> <p>This is John McCain’s message to Americans? We’re a nation of plumbers?</p> <p>Just like Sarah the Pageant Queen, Joe the Plumber is yet another symbol of “real America” John McCain has trotted out and put on display, in hopes of convincing his red state friends that he is, indeed, one of them. After all, Joe’s just like you! He’s a hard working plumber who doesn’t know the first thing about global economics or foreign affairs. McCain would be crazy <em>not</em> to give this man the mic.</p> <p>After losing his party’s nomination to a dim-witted moron eight years ago, why has McCain allowed two more dim-witted morons to appear at his rallies, field questions from voters, and speak on his behalf? I guess if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.</p> <p>But why has McCain staked his campaign on America connecting with this man? I know McCain is smarter than this. Right? Has he been trying to lose this thing? Who’s running his campaign? A group of second graders? A team of circus chimps? </p> <p>There can only be one reason he would lower himself to this sort of gimmicky schtick — because he thinks it’s the only way he can win. Incapable of doing it himself, he’s asked two fear-mongering idiots to light a fire under the collective, bulbous ass of his fearful idiot base.</p> <p>Palin, who’s good at reading a teleprompter and not much else, has already been rumored for a talk show host job when this circus leaves town on Tuesday. And Joe the Plumber is reportedly working on a record deal. I hope John McCain is happy. He couldn’t win the election. But he did help two people win the lottery. </p> <p>More and more, it looks like Americans aren’t buying it this time around. More and more, it looks like all the flag pins and empty slogans and hockey moms and Joe the Plumbers in the world won’t win the Republicans another four years in the White House.</p> <p>Unless on Tuesday, Americans do buy it. And John McCain does win the election … and Joe the Plumber becomes Joe the National Security Advisor.</p> <p>Guess that record deal will have to wait.</p>
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